Yep
It’s going to be another all nighter, isn’t it.
Holy fuck I don’t want long distance again.
Come with me. We’ll spend all our money on flights, but i could snuggle you every night and everything would be perfect.
First day of classes
During finals
It’s so depressingly true.
Seriously, the only thing saving my studies at the moment is the fact that there are only 4 seasons of IT crowd
WOW THIS IS GOOD.
i didn’t know i was hurting you so much but
i convinced myself you cared less than me because otherwise i’d have to think about how worried you must have been and
now that i’ve seen it i can’t ever stop feeling guilty
and how the hell do i make it right
dear fucking god you love me too much and i am no good for you
i’m so happy you finally told me what was wrong but now i can’t pretend it’s not me you were worried about and
i don’t think you’re ever going to believe i’m okay because i broke something that day and you won’t ever see anything else
Sorry rupert. It’s amazing that you’re happy. She makes you so joyful. But until further notice, kindly shut up. Completely. Because all you talk about is how you spend every day together, and how you never get sick of eachother, and you never fight, and you’re the best couple ever. Well i’m sorryagain. but Shut. UP.
Because you don’t get to do that, while i’m having one of the worst days of my life, and wanting nothing more than to hug stephen forever, and instead having to say goodbye to him for two months. You don’t get to do that when i’m 1500km from him and you and all my friends. Do you really think, at that point, that I want to hear about how you’ve spent every day together all week?
You’re not even a proper couple. You know nothing about how hard this is. And i’m being a bitch right now. But I am tired and stressed and lonely and we deserve that much time together. Notyou. So shut up. And let me be depressing because I came looking for a friend. So you could be there for me, like I was there for you, all fucking year when you were sad. Not so you can tell me all the reasons why you’re a better couple than us. So i’m sorry, that I log off before you talk to me. It’s immature. But I cannot do that, right now.
….I’m a terrible person.
Sitting a supplementary exam, failed the barrier by 2% but thankfully within supp margins. So I get a second go. Please, let me make it.
In other news, flying home on thursday, for two months. I miss you already. Fuck. I really want you to come to my town but I really need you to like it and I’m scared you won’t. Because it’s a huge part of who I am. But it’s not perfect and i’m scared you won’t see the beauty and then it’ll become a thing you don’t understand, instead of just a thing you haven’t seen.
If i actually make it to next year med, everything’s going to be different. Study, properly. Stop spending every day asleep. Stop crying over stress instead of just studying and alleviating some stress. Stop dumping everything on you.
I’m going to be okay. And not unhappy. And uncomplicated. And worthy of everything I have.
